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24 octobre HeartbrokenWhen sharmila told me for the first tyme that Narein liked her. its just a nano-second, but i literally feel the earth stop turning. a slight jolt, like tapping the brakes of a car. in that fraction of a second- so quick it cannot be measured-i feel my world change.(of course narein likes you. how could i not have seen it!)*tatz how ui felt and this is one of the confessions i wanted to tell ya sharmila!the truth of course is that i did see it. i always see it. only i didnt want to see it this time. for once. i wanted my eyes to deceive me. this time i really longed its not my fren its me…. a friend. i m nobody’s girlfren. Do i want my best fren to hook up with the boy who broke my heart? when you asked me whether i was serious? i was serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY SHOULDN’T THE TWO PEOPLE I LOVE HANG OUT TOGETHER???????????? I REALLY WANT YOU TO BUT ITS SERIOUSLY YOUR WISH SINCE YOU HAVE BECOME A NUN! I M NOT SURE BUT THIS IS MY SECOND CONFESSION I KNOW I WAS JEALOUS AT FIRST AND STILL AM IN YOIUR VIEW, I JUST TINK MAYBE I SHLD JUS GROW UP AND MOVE ON EVEN THOUGH I NEED TIME TO HEAL THE GAPING HOLE IN MY AORTA. YOUR CONFESSION ISN’T THAT SERIOUS I CAN LIVE WITH IT BUT THIS CONFESSION I DUNNO LA ITS JUST HARD TO TELL OF YOUR FACE……. i am jealous and you know it but i won’t let that ruin our friendship let love affairs just stay like 2.4km away from our friendship! (l0l) InduBirthday:12-10-1995 NI….Not Intrested
NO man is worth your tears and the one worth will not make you cry…..(said by Sharmila, originated by INTERNET!) Happiness is my hp’s inbox being full, happiness is a hug that cheers me up…. happiness is laughing together with friends……. happiness is warm, lazy weekends….happiness is time spent with ppl i love…….sadness is when sharmila leaves me here in s’pore and goes INDIA for two months! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friendshipdark moments or fresh momentsi would like to share it with you sisters we prolong to be in every generationblood we may not be similarlove we are equally strongthe bond we always wish to stengthen, life may have its ups and downs, but the miseries,pain and sorrow we share and suffer in our hearts, we promise to keep our friendship strong and never fight. we will never part ways.
21 octobre whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??????????i am so stupid i told that i won't fall but i did end up falling. i hate myself. i think he is nice person but still sad la. bad very sad and very touching background. nvm that well my bday is over and well next la i dun like anyone at the moment like somewat currently. so single. anyway what else well deepavali is over......... HHHHHHHHHHHHHappppppppppppppy deeeeeeeeeeeepavali! indians out there. love ya ppl. hi sharmi. sorry tis is alll i remember of all this days......... exam results fine fine. just wanna go double science! pls must be withuin 80 pppl!!!!!!!!!!! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sharmi love ya ummmmmmmmma! 2 octobre shall i trust again???????i think i am falling again i like but dunno.......... its hard to decide after going thru so much.......... shall i? shall i not? what am i to do? " " too nice........ am i to just fall then later on sit crying in a corner again like always wen i am so deep in love is when i get crushed by. each and evertime i go thru the same thing i feel like stabbing my heart to never fall in love......... love is a four letter word that will never entwer my life. narein loves sharmi tooooooo much i feel paavam for him but he still asked sorry.... i noe he didnt appreciate me but i really cannot just hate him totally right/ but this" " i dunno! ui dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno. if i did........... no no n o n o n o n o no....... i guess lets wait first. dun fall first be in a steady mind..............
4 septembre latest updates1 September~teacher’s day i miss narein ! i haven't seen him for days surely he wouldn't reply for my msgs anymore after what my dear friend sent to him! well anyway teachers day was okay la. 2 September i am guilty of forgetting sukie. well seeing narein was the best wish that was granted this week. well he was bald! well i still find him hs! of course he wouldn't realize that i still find him hs and will feel sum other ppl find him nice. forget it! 3 September~unlucky start i love narein! i saw him coming from far this morning too embarrassed to have eye contact so i dare not try and then turned my back! well later on wat else ya i reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy want to c him tmr somehow! i love you narein! 4 September i didn't see narein! i am so upset! well i and sharmila went to the beach!then we play play! then sharmila pushed me in the water! then we push each other and have fun! sharmila brought her bf! he damn cool cool very handsome! he is from poly! well we had a great time! sharmi got 6As! whooooooowhooooo! rock on sharmila! EMO TIME! A good heart is better than all the heads in the world! IF we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant! If we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be welcome! What’s the point of life, if you are not spending it with the one you love? WELL NAREIN YOU ARE NOW IN MY HEART. A PART OF MY LIFE STORY. YOU ARE NUTRITION TO ME! TO HELP ME TO GO ON WILLING TO LIVE ON! 25 août Unlucky me angel:i know what i did was a mistake indu:problems for me means headache and dying seems better. but same mistakes i committed i know its truly my fault but once apologized everything must end but the problems keep increasing. i took mc today and kana got test which the teacher did not mention beforehand. and well today don’t have to run 2.4km run some more also. unfair. life is so injustice and unfair. well narein didn't reply meaning it seems its about time i forgotten cause i have already gotten a lot of scolding from caring and concerned fellow sisters that he doesn't appreciate me and i have to forget him. but life is hard love is hard to be forgotten when it something that means so much close to the heart how to forget it. its funny how i can still love him with all the broken pieces of my heart i was telling the reason why i love you, for every star i saw but i ran out of stars. i love you la pls dun tell me to hate you or forget you…………… 24 août latest i am so sorry! but sharmila sent all the msgs to you today! pls n thankj you pls pppl both of you dun put me in a dilema. thank you so much for smiling. thank you so much for replyin to all my msgs that is so unlike you but i am so happy. the first time you replied you know. that is well all about it. i am not going sch tmr cause me still sicky. well you neva told the reason n i never want to know the reason.
i like to live in your lies rather than hearing the painful truth....... forbidden to remember, afraid not to think THIS IS INDU'S BLOG
i love you still. true or not i dun know as long as you are near i can hear your heartbeat and can always feel you when you are near if you call that a lie or stupid fine. if you don't accept me still fine lets b e friends. but i got to warn you it never is going to be possible for me. you are too kind la. that is the biggest problem i ever faced in my life with you. well has you don't know. i do know that you like sharmila. and everything from the beginning yet don't worry i will never think you as a bastard coz i will never hate you sorry for the sad news no matter what you do i will never hate you i am just a lonely sore hearted freak after three days of crying relentlessly after last friday when icried on your shoulders sharmila. well thank you so m uch for being there i could not have asked for a better friend in my life desoite the fact you kept telling me to forget him. and well despite the fact you were joking a little. pls don't worry you can never attempt to make me jealous. so sowie for your attempt to go to waste, well as for you narein, even after reading this blog like sharmila said you might have pity love or you might just think this is stupid and a waste. well whatever the decision pls dun talk to me directly i am not the kind of a person who can take all thias direct talking to heart and just ignore it. bye no matter what take care well it is kind of little late was worrie d for you in the sadangu when you kept sneezing and when atthai told mwe you were seriously having fever got even more worried sick i know you are ok now but pls pls take care. love you. 12 août i am hurting i really wish to die after confessing my emotions. all i want to do is cry.but my throat is aching. my heart is sore. i cant hate myself anymore. my wound here in my heart is unbearable. i am glad sharmila at least you are by my side. shalini i missed you so much but you spoke so little to me after you came, have you started hating me for no reason tooooooooooooooo. sharmini you are my well wisher i love you and will never forget you. nj my sisterly friend. kavin, kutchina. i am so sorryy about your father;s death. i am so sos sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. i really love you like a brother. just hope all four of us can always be thick friends forever.
shalu meeting
it was great meeting shalini from france after two years of waiting. i am so glad she came but she spoke so lessssssss.i am hurt but i really hope she did not mean it.
ndp parade
narein you marched excellently your performance was good. st johns you rock!!!!!!!!!!!! the performance was super. well sharmi i had a great time with you in northpoint.
dad's birthday
it went well i wished at midnite strike with a cake and a teddy which said"loving you always and forever. eisa akka came. alagapan anna came. vijaya came. my twin perimas came. my mom came. i came. my dad came. arun came. done!!!!!!!!!
happy national day
sharmi sorry abt the unfortunate eventas in your life
i fate wise saw narein thrice or more this week if i list all the time specifically my comp my hang sorrry narein........
exams are round the corner i am stressed......
goodbye narein...... my hopes were so high all i realise now is hopelessness stupidity. my second true crush in my life is officially crushed. but its really going to be hard to erase the memories of you offffff my head so soon. take care. my tears were meaningless to you but never can i bring up myself to scold you even now i hate myself not you. single for life......................true love and i never go together. i cant make your heart feel somthing it won't.
naaan vilagi vilagi pooren anal neee nerungi varey.
i kept seeing you today 5 times. well i love you always so dun you dare try to stop me from loving you...... my saddest night ever.... today all my feelings came flushing out of the whole in my heart. the physical scars left in bell's hands tell me how much you both loved each other. i don't want to stand in your way. i am just a stone on the ground. step on me and just walk over me. the little eye contact i had with you was sparkling hurting sorrowful. its enough, i have hurt myself well. i could have just died the day i was to be born when that stupid cord stuck onto my neck, which i miraculously survived then later the "katti" in my chin which i survived when i was just a 3months old baby. my mom doesn't know how much i love her. my dad never understands me and my expectations. i was never loved. my cousins jokingly criticizes me. love was never written in my life. sukie i feel regretful and remorseful and guilty. i knew him for 8years and i just forgot him why wouldnt forget narein? teenage attraction is not love. when will i understand that? being the only child doesnt mean luxury or alot of money. i am the most understanding teenage girl ever lived i never pester my parents for something very expensive. if they dont have money i will let go of my wishes and give my allowance and pocket money which i saved hardworkingly but then nobody appreciates that side of me.i always wanted siblings but never had one. always always always jealousy replaces my sadness. i am nice but i am sad every second of my life i spend . i am just enduring adding onto pain. each and everytime belinda asks me "do you still like narein?" a wave emotions never fails to run through me! i am so hurt, i cant cry scream or just tell someone abt it. its hard to forget its hard to remember its hard to endure it! do you hate me so much?(i know the answer narein) 100% i will never get you its fantasy dream it will always vanish once i wake up! i know it for sure! but hope, dream, can never come true is it? wishes/ do come true don't they? love a four letter word that never will enter my life nor leave my heart! the rain that cries with me is no more. all that is left is the wind that carries your your scent. my eyes only see you. your stare kills me. i hate torturing you!but it cannot be helped. i will try my best to help you, my love is 100% true but only the cries heard is left to abuse my love to be a lie. i hate you but for never failing to care for me. scold me! scold me! narein scold me! tell me to leave you! tell me to hate you! tell me my love is stupid! i just want to cry alll my life. cause i hate myself so much! nobody noticed me! i study so hard but achieve nothing. what i study is never enough all the praise goes to HIM! when is heart going to be taken as a option of love. friendship broken>? fate? i tried so hard to keep our friendship going now everything gone. each of us one corner. my life i had for you is dying narein. but suffering is what i am going through now because of you. each time i see you all i see is my heart right before my eyes. how am i ever to give up? i love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant endure it anymore, the only best thing to do is to engulf myself with this burning, achieng, hurts and wounds i will try my best to be away from you. i just want you to stay smiling always. i love you.
you!
love letters
love letter 1
not a thousand words can express what i feel.
your touch, your scent, is all i need to survive.
you are not a luxury. you are an necessity.
love letter 2
my love for you is more than the stars you can count.
your live is what i need to live on, if it as to be over my death, i am willing to surrender my last breath in a wish to live with you as your shadow, in darkness i might have to be. but in my heart you stand as the sun. love i gave. hatred you gave in return. cry i did. smile you did. ignorance you did. in your faintest memory i live. in my various memories you live on, the wound you gave me did not hurt. you stabbed my heart with your killing stare it did not hurt as much either. but the hatred and vengeance you show towards me killed me the instant you rejected me on feb0308 you i will give my word that if your happiness was ever stolen, i will leave my life at your feet and fight it back with all my soul could go on, i will never survive the moment that single drop of tear drips down your cheeks. your eyes as fiery and protective.your smile as a grin or melody. your voice i would recognize even if i was dead. your love i long for till death shall i part. i believe that there is still hope and love and care and concern hidden deep beneath your heart. please give at least a little bit of it to me. please. 24 juillet pls ya>? stop it can???????guess what cca finished early today too, its great that the teacher changed but makes no idfference we were intially dumped by our cca just waiting for them to quit on uc cause once you have joined a cca you are there for life we dun quit the cca the cca quits on you. ppl actually could have alerted us of the full u thnggy what idfference does make anyway well life is great for me i don't care if anyone attempts to destroy it why destroy our sister's life cause of us. paavam theriyumma akka, what she do? you were the one who came then you say you got ur reasons well as for today of course i kept seeing narein why waste the chance when you can look at him for one last time for the weekends i missed him lots cause i neva got a chance to see him despite being in the same schookl and jus a level above your heasd well good lucks sharmi for your crush, express your feelings soon before it is tooooooooo late. well as for a special someone yopu know who i am referring sharmi pls, say friend or boy friend soon or else stop hurting my paavam, patta ears........... narein if you accept or dun accept i dun mind i kove you that is all, i admit i saw you behind the school when you were waiting outside the onther tiongue class, cca, canteen, and more more more, u never know someones looking at you cause you dun know i exist neva mind that doesnt matter i love you and nothing can change that! 17 juillet why should i hate narein?
i love you narein! The day cca ever finished earliest….Guess what happened confirm its easy! i saw narein. well paavam pillai had still needed to practise for the ndp parade. but then i felt he was staring at me and sharmila when we walked past well mostly sharmila. well then, during recess sharmila felt he was whispering something about her and was kind of shocked at whether it was narein doing what he was doing well, guess how i felt, sad but not jealous cause sharmila is way understanding. i love you for that sharmila. we saw mr roy in the music room. guides was god damn tiring. well we have hardly improved in marching we simply suck at it. unlike narein. i don’t know lar, whether he really likes sharmila or just for fun for teasing but seriously nobody will be this desperate to get revenge and bla bla bla. i love him so much that i can’t keep my eyes off him. i saw him before p.e. i kept staring at him while he was marching and i was sitting in the canteen coming back time lar with sharmila. i guess he should have noticed. i just am upset that he hardly likes me even for one percent am i that hateble? i am just upset how belinda could do this to me?! i trusted her more than narein that i gave her to read my life story and even she commented on it with so much feelings well i threw it away after i finally gave it to my mom to read. she told all that i wrote to saash? how could she it was personal i trusted her like my sister. i just can’t trust anyone i am so innocent people trick me so easily. why? i just love everyone around me and in return they hate me more than their lifes? i really wanted her and narein to be happy and the news got to her the other way round where i actually hated her for liking narein.i was the most upset for both of them than both of them had been. and you narein, never understood me? sharmi told me to forget him but its hard, thinking is so easy forgetting, please i will give you my life rather than doing that. you scolded me well i just hope you did it so that i would hate you, and forget you if you still meant it all, no problem cause this nerd is some stupid girl who will love you despite anything well next monday i havent decided to wear the orange or pink panjabi suit. i managed to pester sharmi to wear a panjabi suit. well, i am going to miss you lots narein. 10 juillet My true lovemisery seems like a burden,
so i think about forgetting,
but forgetting seems like dying,
my unrequited love i want to give up,
so i want to give in to a miserable life of a broken heart,
my love is a faint pricking thorn to him,
so i want to stop pricking my loved one,
i don't want him to get hurt by my obsessive love towards him,
i am very possesive no wonder my friend keep teasing me i am always jealous of everything,
jealousy is something which is growing inside me,
so i don't think i want to hurt my friend nor narein,
let me just hide my true feelings and hide my sorrows,
i want to murder my love for the sake of my friend's and mine friendship not to get hurt,
and i just want narein to know i love you,
as long as you understand my feelings for you that is enough,
i got worried just coz i saw you sitting with a mask the other day,
i kept asking "what is wrong with him? is he going to be alright? is he in school? hiyo paavam what is wrong with him? is he alright?"
you can ask my friend how much frustrated she was the whole day listening to my whimpering,
well my friend sharmila wants me to find a better person he is the most ideal partner for me,
my love cant be stopped but temporarily hidden.
my friend thinks i chose not wisely,
but i love him tat is all that matters,
love is blind,
but my love is both one sided and true,
you cant change the fact sharmila,
my love is true love,
my obsessive love started last year.
on the second day of school or third day perhaps when he first asked my friend priya "do you know who is indu?"
well i was right beside her...and he shouted across the canteen,"if any thing tell me!" he was so called suppose to take care of me he is still taking care of me
cause he helped me today itself. he considers me his cousin i consider him more than that i still remember the little little things like staring at his class waiting for him t come out of his class string from the level below outside the class,during lessons,
when go recess awaiting to see him, blush when see him,
during cca while marching secretly looking at him.
when he catches my eyes just feel so happy and joyful,
when he toks to me feel shy, everyday sitting at the bench outside the general office waiting to say hi to him.
i love you still.when will you accept my devotional love. i m irreducibly in love with you. when will you accept????????????
9 juillet Talking about 50 Stars that sparkle about sharmila!
Quote 50 Stars that sparkle about sharmila! 6 juillet DUN U DARE GET MY GUY!SHARMILA LOVES_____________________________________________! SHE LOVES HIM TRULY AND MADLY! SO DUN ANYWAY DARE TO MESS WITH HER GUY SHE WILL KILL ANYONE WHO DARES TRYING! 23 juin What a wild party!OMG it was a hell lot of a party.ya! i and sharmila went to escape theme park and had a wild party. it was awesome. well we had invited some of our youth buddies kind of like sharmila's sister's friends lor. well we had so much fun. we were equally having a rocking good time. ooooooo.gosip. sharmila was asked for a date with the most touching and romantic poem. it was so romantic. i loved my time there. we were simply exhausted by the time we came back. there was a fathers day mishap. in one of my calenders it stated father's day was last sunday so i wiashed and gave my dad his gifts but unfortunately the tv and nobody said anything about it that is when i realised my father had been enjoying a whole week of fathers day celebration so unfair. well he bought me a web cam. a stereo which can stick on to my cupboard. and well gave me my vary own laptop. i am soon going to get a leather skinned vaio. but unfortunately not any sooner la. too expensive. i want to buy a i phone and well i want to kind of curl my hair at the bottom all my dreams my cousin keeps snatching away from me well sharmila my bast friend is about to get a count down of gifts for her birthday. 9n presents for her 09/09/09 birthday lol! screams holiday ir rocking good. i finally managed to go swimming and well i kind of got sun tanned but come on ya who cares fun is all i care about but i seriously look forward for a extension in our holidays. and i really want to see a certain cousin brother so much. well then i saw someone who i long forgotten like 16times whenever i see that certain someone electricity starts zapping in and out man! but i am sorry i dont want to start a fight with a certain ex friend but he was indeed my firs crush in my teenage life you know but of course i have no feelings for me but still lucky me i get to see him everytime and its so like fate was written for us cause i went to ntuc he was there my parents decid eto grab a dinner at kfc he is there too. but it was so embarassing when i had to sit beside him and eat my dinner. well i suppose no hard feelings but that guy is ash. but i am so sos sos sosorry saash i seriously have no feelings for him he is all yours well i am hopeless cause seriously currently i have no one to love or fall i love with. i love that guy but the guy i dont wish to hurt his feelings or i dont want to harass him i just love myself and my kutti pissasu sharmila. my sweet angel. wish ya all tghe best in lfe sharmila well has a kindness wish you all the best kavitha and saashthinii. hope you get to see ash soon too. but it was totally coincident to me. |
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